Monday, April 3, 2006

the colours on my blog seem too light on my computer but alright on others. tagg me if u really cant see a thing ok.
PFT results was not up to my own expectations. sigh. i could have done more than 19 pull ups but i just stopped. i thought i still had alot of time so i rested for 3 seconds before doing my 45th sit up. i did 36cm for the first sit and reach then 45 for the second try. not sure if i can stretch any further for that though. but i got a B! :( shuttlerun was a disappointment too. aimed for 10 but did 10.74 seconds. sighh. aimed 200cm for standing broad jump but only did 191. only realised that i can jump 200+ barefooted after she recorded everything.grrrr. but all in all im still grateful that i havent dropped too much from last year. just hope its the same for 2.4km too.

i thought the sky was beautiful when i got home after pft.
it was very windy and about to rain, so the whole sky was greyish-blue. the field was paticularly captivating. dim grey and blue surroundings with rustling and scattered trees seeming to be whispering at one another. the air just smelled so refreshing that all in all, i thought i was dreaming. melancholic atmosphere all around me with the breeze blowing into my face and swinging my ponytail. if only everyday was like that, my days would be perfect =)<br>rehearsals tmr again. i really dont wanna act, and i really dont wanna rehearse. i dont even feel like going for the competition anymore. i really really dont wanna do it, y cant he just let me have my own choice when i could?? now everything is too late i have to torment myself and put my heart into something i'm beginning to hate.
oh dear i just snapped at my grandma again and she just turned and walked out. i feel so bad but i just cant help it. sighh.

NO ONE said her condition was that serious, only u. u interpreted our conversation that way, which goes to show u probably thought that way. and honesly, u have no right even if we did because u were the one who leaked out what she painfully shared during the camp right after the session. im sorry but im really beginning to find u loathesome. i really hope u will reflect and change and i will pray for u, but in the meantime, i know im not ready to converse open- heartedly with u yet, not like we've ever been really able to.
from book of Jobe, Faith is our biggest gift and asset. use it :)

jana 10:25 PM