i just dint feel like going home although i was practically dead after 2.4 and checking out the theatre at clememti. cracked my brains on somewhere deserted to just keep walking in silence but i realised my legs were to tired to carry me. i decided to sit down at the playground. i was so hoping it would rain, the sky was greyish blue and the wind was breezing into my face. the playground was empty and i just watched the view. rows of trees lining the almost deserted road ,long grassland joining the five blocks of flats, and a very peaceful view of an empty block and a serene playground. i was half facing the grassy area with small trees scattered here and there, and half facing the windows of block 39. it felt so relaxed just staring at nothing in paticular, thinking of nothing at all. it just felt so good in the breeze, watching the birds fly from tree to tree, the leaves rustling and smelling the air of fresh grass and oncoming rain. i dont know how long i sat there, maybe an hour? somehow all the sadness just faded into the wind. maybe thats why it was so melancholic. maybe in sadness and burden, being alone is better than having familiar faces around you. being able to cry and let out the tears is better than controlling or the inability to express it even by crying. maybe sometimes, its better to know exactly wad is slowly eating at you, than to feel sadness and burdened by so many things, u dont know wad the main cause is, anymore.
