i am trying so hard to forget you but i just cant. perhaps seeing you everyday just makes it worse. i dont want history to repeat itself i know its a dead end and i dont wanna go on. but i just cant stop.

continue saying hi to me and im grateful enough. at least there's something different this time round, its not just a smile anymore.
should i be glad? cos this way the feelings intensify. i dunno what i want. maybe i never should have said okay to that game, we wont be talking right now. everything would stay like it was.
then i wouldnt have to force myself to not look in your direction or guess where you are looking at.

i just feel so stupid.

jana 2:37 AM