Thursday, March 1, 2007
emotions take days to start sinking in. today was the first time i really had time to sit down alone and think through stuff and i realised the whole point of shilong getting me outta my house all day. it feels better, really. cos i realised there aren't many reasons or answers to it at all. its just LIKE THAT. no point thinking through cos i get to the same point. he just played with me thats all. since he can be so non-chalent, shouldn't i do that too. suddenly i miss jiabao, i miss rebecca, i miss eunice, i miss jieying, i miss ij, and that feeling of family around you. i havent seen half my world in months. omg. but thank god they are here in my memories and in my heart, and thank god for the few angels he sent to me these few days. and sorry lord for all the vulgarities in my posts, really couldnt help it. im seeing him tomorrow, so i guess i leave the decision to that moment when i see him. i guess thats gonna be the end of this whole stupid thing. but wad if i burst out crying? maybe i'll finally be able to when i see him. but that is bad. or maybe i wouldnt. aiya whatever.