Monday, April 16, 2007
i must say i was really touched when william from T06 called. at least i left a memeory in someone. again, thank God for kelly, thank God for her inspirational book, thank her for being in T06. Darryl, you cracked me up every single day when i was present for school too. and you'll always be the first to ask "eh you ok anot? u look very gloomy leh." thank you! and even tough Miss Lo wont be reading this, she was definitely a messenger sent yet again from him. all the talks with her brought me step by step closer to God and better understanding his purpose for me.
thank you victoria for being in my life, and for pat, you'll be a friend i'll never wanna say bye to.
i guess its gonna be a new start this time round. i wont dare to fail this time, even if i might seriously hate it. i know if i do, i'll be dashing my mother's last hope in me. more importantly, how am i going to be a "tent-maker" for God? this is the last route towards the mission. im not sure if it is a calling yet, but im sure i'll really like to do that. and my mother has been fumbling with all my poly admin papers over and over again the whole night. she checked and repacked my bag. she picked my clothes for me. she made sure i had at least 1 pen for tmr. she made me go sleep a million times since 2am, she made my brother wake me up, she gave me a hand-shake for tmr, she names it "starting life afresh". what else can i do but to do well? but its really annoying to hear her nag, seriously. its probably 10 times worse than any of your mothers, serious. u dont know her man.
work today was retarded. roche is weird seriously. we were talking about someone who commited suicide by jumping into the mrt track. her immediate question was: "Then what happened to the train?" my gosh. you should have seen how lone and i laughed our heads off. then she was talking about about a guy who lost his oesophagus, so he had to eat through a tube connected to his stomach and spit out saliva every few seconds. then she said " guess what. he drinks beer by pouring it into his tube". like hello, are you having a fever roche? then ivy was cornering me till i had to stand on the ledge of station C to sanitize my wooden blocks. i think the customers thought i was mad. ivy and i had a round of scissors paper stone. winner gets to mop station B. i lost! she cheated and i hit her, but i ended up smacking the broom. then all 3 of us just watched in amusement as the broom fell slow motion to the ground. ivy's hand was still dangling in mid air. and all our eyes just followed the broom. "piang". -silece-. then at the same moment, we burst out laughing all at once. then i insisted i wanted to keep all the signboards and greeter stuff myself, but zayar and lone had to come and help. so then zayar started moving all the stuff that they helped t move, back outside of the outlet and stare at me. all 3 of us just stared for a moment. then all at once, burst out laughing again. i enjoyed laughing for no apparent reason today. laughing builds your abs you know?
hahahahahahahahaa. -breathe- hahahahahahaha =D
people, try it.
lone was talking about him and his gf today, they've been together 4 and half years. without warning, i started tearing. but i didnt cry la. she's my inspiration to walking out of this, really.
its not about who u are to him. did you ever officially ask him to quit? No. So? and even if you did, why do u hate the stuff he's doing? tatoos are there alr, cant be helped. thats the past of him you've to accept. and what's wrong with it anyway? u just dont like it. its ah beng, notion of CMI hooligans. well, is he one? no, excluding the fact he smokes and drinks. well everybody does that. find someone else then. but u like him, cant help it. then accept him. like how he accepts the fact your family's strict, you cant go out late, u cant promise anything. but he still waits. u care for his health, then tell him. but u must know to him, smoke is destress, alcohol is life. to change someone's lifestyle, you must first be his life. can you do that? if you cant, dont hate wad he's doing. tell him once, he doesnt wanna change, pray that he sees your concern, your point of view. i bet you forgot that God is more important, thats why u are warped up in worry and disappointment and self- centredness (in reference to God). you want him to change for you. but u cant give him anything in return. u are just taking and expecting more from him, expecting him to prove his feelings, want him to like you more, u wanna be important to him. but you arent willing to give anything for him. u arent willing to let him into your life, you just want him to like you. and its not up to the point he loves you and can give up his life for you. dont expect too much, somewhat i would say you actually dont have a right. i shall think somemore tonight, im really exhausted. tell you if i see you tmr.
"So i find this law at work: when i want to do good, evil is right there with me... What a wretched man i am! who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!" - Romans 7:21-24
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well"- matthew 6:33
"Be strong and of good courage, be not afraid nor dismayed for the Lord is with you, wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9