first day of poly was alright. got lost at the start but finally found my class and all. and it really sucks cos its super hot out there, super cold in the LTs. my class is super weird. well super different. i shall not elaborate, its really bad. but im still glad i found a fren, even though we are worlds apart. erm shall not elaborate. yea and i have no lessons on tuesdays! poly is alright la. i like the subjects but the environment is just totally different. i guess i just have to step out of the whole ij-world thing someday. it feels good to see familiar faces in a strange compound, no matter whether we are close or not. like how it felt great seeing joachim even though we have nohing to say, erm seeing people from church though they dont recognize me, seeing people from pek kio though we seem to have mutual disdain for one another somehow. many many ex-ij gals too. yea 3 years. it'll be gone in the blink of an eye. hold on man.

its pressurizing when you say u are waiting. it means theres an expectation of him yet again. why dont u just let it fade off by itself? you know u are not helping him to forget at all, you're making it harder for him to let go, which equates to hurting him. hmm well just let go and let nature take its course. love in a different way. do u want him to be under stress, under regret, unable to let go and feeling pain everyday? nope right. so yea, just let go, and nature will take its course.

i like the way i feel for him now. i really like him alot, and more so with each passing day, but its kind of like a "let-go" kind of feeling. its more of me liking him than focusing on whether he still has feelings for me, or any part to do with her. i look forward to seeing him at work and i stay happy with the fact i can still see him once a week and hear him sing. but soon i'll have to start learning how to remember him without seeing him anymore. i have 4 more months to prepare before he leaves.

"my lover is radiant and ruddy.
outstanding among ten thousand.
(yes, he doesnt even jamm on V's Day)

his head is purest gold;
his hair is wavy and black as a raven.
(not wavy, but definitely black as a raven.)

His eyes are like doves
by the water streams,
washed in milk,
mounted like jewels.
(yes, absolutely, the way u said i hurt you when i said i didnt miss you)

His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume.
his lips are like lilies
dripping with myrrh.
(yes, he has perfect complexion. i havent noticed his lips though)

his arms are rods of gold
set with chrysolite.
his body is like polished ivory
decorated with sapphires.
(his arms are definitely so. his body too. but change the sapphires to tatooes. but his tatoo is nice too.)

His legs are pillars of marble
set on bases of pure gold.
his appearance is like Lebanon,
choice as its cedars.
(yes, his legs are probably so cos he plays soccer and very well too. he is as tall and charismatic as Lebanon.)

His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
this is my lover, this is my friend
O daughters of jerusalem.
(the voice from his mouth is sweetness, and yes he is lovely, minus the jerk part. well he's not my lover, not my friend. just colleaugues.)"

- Song of Songs 5:10-16

lol sorry. chanced upon this bible verse, just trying to make some links =D

jana 11:52 PM