wyncy's blog just made me tear all over again. how confused she must be now, how painful it must be to love each other but to know it wont work out. how hard it must be to push him away, like i did. i really dont know wad i can do for you. how i wish i was really an angel, i can take away all the pain, all the troubles, i can make everything perfect, i can make every relationship work out, i can make you and him compatible, i can bring him back for victoria, but im only human. we are just helpless. looking at wyncy's post, it made me think how lucky it is that at least he does care for her. he did so much for you. even just keeping him in your heart is good enough because you know he will always be there for you. at least victoria has memories of him, memories of holding his hands, memories of hearing him call you dear, memories that you can keep for a lifetime. but all i remember is how he didnt care at all. how i was sick but he dint even ask, how he only says things that hurt, how he knew i was stressed but he just couldnt be bothered. he was never there, he never cared, and he never will. how i wish i had something to hold on to. oh yes maybe just one statement "take care dear". the time u send "cradle" and said was for me. the only time i felt that u really missed me, when u were filleting salmon and messaged me that i looked like it. the time u refused to lose contact with me. the times we talked online till 5am. the times u kept repeating your number over and over again, the time u asked me if you could message me. the time when u said u were all alone in singapore, u felt lonely, but now u have me. Fuck you. u have her. everyday. and u lied about the fucking ring. lied about her that she only felt like a sis. you've been together with her how many years? all the memories just come back to the point that they were all
lies. fucking lies you made up because thats the only way u could get me. how i wish i hate you. how i wish you loved me. really. i so wish u loved me. if only i could be like ivy, to be able to call you when im sick and just hear you tease me. how she can talk to you so casually, how she can just hit you and play with you in the kitchen, how your gf has you when she's sick, when she's down, how you'll always be there for her because you love her. i really wish that u loved me, that i was the one in your heart, i wish so much that i feel like my heart is ripping apart.
