Friday, May 25, 2007
i was still high and feeling good at cheers, then joanne came and called us on court. we started off with a run, which was okay, even though i could feel milo coming up my throat. while panting and stretching, christina came on court and joanne was telling her to go for the run with petrina. at this moment, i suddenly felt my heart drop. it was like in a split second, my morale just went from high to totally no morale. i just felt totally discouraged in an instant. yesterday was only my third thursday trng so seriously, i havent gotten the hang of netball yet. wad made everything worse was the fact my WA was yunhua. i could guard her man to man and all, but i dont know how to intercept "lob"s. i dont even get how the game really goes. so throughout, i was desperately guarding her but for nothing, cause i cant do anything to lobs. after only a few minutes into playing, i stopped trying. and because i stopped trying, i felt even lousier. water break, then i played GD. in actual fact i felt better playing GD, i could actually feel the game in me. but i was lazy, i admit. and i dint push myself. in a sense, i never really tried pushing myself to the limit in any game, its different from pushing yourself while running or swimming. thats constant and u can expect wad is to come, but i guess for me, its different in a sport or a game. or maybe im just weird. because of the first game that i totally sucked at, i couldnt be bothered to try for my GD already. i was thinking "aiya everybody alr saw how i sucked,try for wad". so throughout the game, i was just doing my best to look like i was playing. water break, then WD. this time, i dnt even realise the whistle was blown already, and my WD got the ball easy like pancakes. she was like 5 feet away from me with the ball while i was standing there, amused that i dint hear the whistle. throughout this last game, i was basically just praying fervently the game would end like now. i was thinking "walao just blow the bladdy whistle, i wanna go home la. just peee the bladdy thing".
i dint sing at trng at all the whole of yesterday and my face was stone. i left first with xueting and nina. then at cheers, i realised we all felt the same about those good players. like the moment they walk onto court, u realise theres no point in trying to play well, and it was basically, ridiculously, instant-demoralising. but then xueting started saying something like even if you wanna leave, you must leave better than how u were before. dont leave as a loser. that totally changed my mind about quitting netball. so its decided, im gonna do my best on monday and once i feel demoralised, im gonna start singing.
a stranger just taught me about currency trading.maybe that should be my lifetime career huh.haha.
all the sick people, please take care and drink water.bye bye.
Labels: .