so all the boh people plus anne, roche, ivy went to east coast to drink tonight. when they took out the guitar and started playing in the outlet, omgosh. i think i fell in love with the guitarist. lol really, especially Ye and actually ivy can be quie attractive for once. hahha. anyway the point is when all of them started singing along to the guitar, it just reminded me of pat and ij. seeing the burmese people singing together enjoying each other's voices and company, and the smiles that lit up on their faces, it was really full of reminisce. it reminded me yet again of the familiar feeling of ij, the times that pat played the guitar and we sang along, the times at her house and hearing her play her guitar and piano. past memories just came flooding back. and so i called pat and wyncy messaged audrey. at that moment, i think our hearts just went back to their real places, we suddenly remembered who we were amidst all this racing through our lives. somehow i think i lost myself, i forgot where i felt was me and i only remembered to rush with wad life has now for me, to catch up and not lose myself.i guess i never realised i already lost me. well, not that i hate it. i know i need a future, all the thoughts about being a nobody all my life has well, vanished. i would at least need to help my brother finish his education, before i decide if i want to leave this life with nothing. whether i really wanna leave the legacy of never trying my best through my whole life, and not achieving wad i should be able to.
well anyway, im glad life is going on though not that sure about attendance yet. im glad to be in my class actually. surprisingly, it feels comforatble, to be honest, more comfortable than 4/4. maybe cos my class now is all cheena people, but the extent of cheena-ness is not up to 4/4's standard of ang-moh-ness. got my point? but the feeling is just different. i guess a sense of belonging needs time to grow. however, i do like my class now and especially my group of friends, just not that close yet.
because they bladdy need to get drunk tonight, i have to replace zahtun 12-5. shit. means 12-5 then 6-10, but i wana sleep, and i need to do my social psycholy stupid project. shit. no time.
i wanna learn guitar! really. oh which reminds me, im gonna join song composing club next wed. which reminds me, my groups doing an interview with rochelle on wed. lol for our discrimination project.lame shit.
btw, i'll be going to china from sept 10th-23rd september, we're gonna build water pipes for a school there. the thing is, im going alone cos nobody wants to be gone for 2 weeks, and i dont know anybody there. but who cares. well actually i am a lil apprehensive about it, 2 weeks is not short. i remember falling sick the moment i reached back singapore during the sec3 trip, and that was only 5 days. plus i wont get to work, and i wont get to see so many people. oh which reminds me, he's not working next sunday. why ah? who cares, haha. no i really dont really care already. as in i think its more of a habit to check his schedule. mm hmm. but it still makes my heart sort of TRIP to hear his name. as in u know like electricity wires trip, u know just that kind of feeling.
nothing much to update, just that my drama script is yet to be written nor handed up. which means my draft hasnt been handed in till now, and the real script is late by a week. omg. u know i just cant myself to write it la, its really the hardest assignment i ever got. really. its worse than doing velocity or studying chemical bonds. i think cos i dont have the passion for wad i wanna write, and theres nothing much i have enough passion for to write about.
so tired, need to sleep. shit, need to do my work. haiy. can somebody just clone another jana. one to work and one to do work. hey pun huh. work and do work. lol okay nevermind.
how i wish i went today, but will be super out of place la. all burmese and all guys, except ivy, who is a burmese, and roche and anne who are phillipino and well. uh huh. how i wished i shared their unity, its really something i dont see in singaporeans. its so sad sometimes to hear people say they hate singapore, they wanna get out and live somewhere away from the place they were born, far far away from their roots. we have everything, we have security, we have peace, we have the economy. others like the phillipinos and burmese have nothing except corruption and poverty, yet they love their country to bits. or perhaps its because they only have one another that the platonic love is so strong, so touching. like how at the staff party, when ivy got drunk, wai yan, a fellow burmese totally took care of her like a sis. how the guys took care of one another and even darlie. i imagine myself drunk. hmm. will hmmm..joshua take care of me? err dont think so.maybe? lol probably just drag me out of the club, throw me into the cab, write my address for the cabby and go back to dance.
