alot happened in these few days.
sunday night the moment i logged in to msn, he talked to me. i got a shock cos he said "hi sweety". my heart just stopped beating for a second when i saw his nick "yan." and it started racing. he said that he was "talking all truths" that night. he asked me out to "visit his office" and i rejected. basically, i was rather light-hearted the whole time while conversing, and he just kept asking me questions like "do u still like me?" the difference is, he didnt say "stop missing me" but he wanted to know if i still did. and there was this time when i said he was stupid, he said "yea im stupid, thats why i still miss you". btw his nick is currently
"if i admit it, its gonna hurt you again,so i would rather keep this secret in my heart and i wont say i miss you :( "
to save myself from falling, i forced myself to look at things not just in one way, and i realised that it could be referring to anyone else. but he doesnt come online often, so who can it be and i know he comes online most of the time to talk to me. but then again, maybe he deleted or blocked me.
after i said hi back, he immediately asked me to meet him. the whole conversation, i just felt like he was serious. and he also said "i dont know and i dont care" when i asked if they went to east coast on friday and thats why he appeared at the outlet. so then if they dint go, wad was he there for? oh did i blog about him coming on fri? ya he did, and i felt like a fool after that. anw.
"will u fall for me again?"
"u still like me?"
"so you still like me?"
"can u visit me at my office?"
"we can take a walk by riverside. i really wanna talk with you"
its seriously so not yan naung, but im sure it wasnt a hacker.
"omg, yan naung you are scaring me"
"why u so scared of me?"
"cos i totally dont trust you"
"god." *"good"
i was momentarily confused by "god " and "good". 2 extremely different emotions and meanings please.
"honey deary sweety shorty"
"lol. should be honey dear, sweet shorty."
"okay which do u prefer to be called?"
"hmmm.... MRS YANNAUNG :D"
"lol."
"oh ya that day i was at amk with my friend, then this small girl just walked up tome and hugged me. see,im irresistable EVEN to kids."
"lol. we will have 3 sons in the future."
"why sons?"
"i know u want daughter. we will have 1 daughter. but we will have 3 sons."
"lol why 3?"
"cos we were just planning to have 2 but somehow we had another one"
"okay, but i rather a daughter. (i said something like that la.)"
"will you give us another go at a daughter? (something like that"
"yan naung.u know wad im doing now?"
"what?"
"im laughing like mad but having to cover my mouth at the same time. the way u phrased it was just freaking funny la! hahhahahaha"
"lol. will u visit me at my workplace? then you will treat me to macs and i will treat you to indochine."
"omg, why macs? i hate it. i had macs for lunch everyday with my friends for 2 years last time. when u say macs, i can even smell it, i feel like vomiting"
"you are nuts"
"peanuts, hazelnut, walnut. wad nut you want?"
"my lovely nut"
"im gonna travel the world and buy all sorts of nuts"
"no dont buy nuts."
"why"
"cos by that time you will be mrs. Yn and you'll be spending my money."
"okay since my dearest hubby doesnt like nuts, i shall buy coffeebeans from everywhere and anywhere."
"and make coffee for me every morning when i wake up"
"you'll prob die of food poisoning"
"then u can find another husband"
"make that a wife. haha. ehh actually wads your definition of les?"
"will u come and visit me?"
(cant really remember the part in between)
"okay i shall be serious. what you are doing now is nothing close to adultery but it issint exactly faithful either."
"lol i was just kidding.u think i am stupid enough to make you my gf?"
"but u are smart enough to play me. PLAYER"
"i didnt play you. why u say so?"
"ahh okay this is long. the fact that u already had someone else in your heart and you werent honest about it. u knew u wont choose me over her and yet u still continued."
"hmm.but im not counted playing until the girl falls for it."
"no, whther or not the gal falls for it is up to u."
"i tease all gals like that "
"i know"
"but u fell for it and that lead me into it too"
"ya but i mean like its up to you, its like your choice ,my dear."
"im not dear to you."
"anw, i just hope you wont do it anymore, uncle"
"okay. now im uncle?"
"werent you always uncle?"
"no i was hubby just now"
"lol. btw, just asking for the sake of knowing, did u like me that time?"
"of course i did, sweety. hey i gotta go now, take care, bye"
now that i finish typing, "aga aga-ly", maybe he was really kidding. but im sure i felt it was serious from the way he phrased it. maybe yet another self-fulfilling prophecy. tamade i should have saved the conversation la! then can analyse properly. arghh dammit, after clicking the cross on impulse then i relised i forgot to save. but then again, wads the point of knowing right? wouldnt make a diff, cos even if he does like me, he wont choose me over her. and if he does choose me over her, i will totally lose alll my trust in him. we are impossible. it sucks to be in contact, cos everytime after speaking to him or seeing him, the feeling comes back and i've to go through the phase of letting go all over again. perhaps each time the feeling is less strong, but it still hurts.i think love is a disgusting thing. its never a forever thing nor is it always all good and no bad. its like a friendship with chains and thorns. its like a rose that will wilt eventually. if we all know that at the end of the day, the feeling of love will dissipate and alll thats left is just care and need and that that paticular special feeling is gone, wads the point of being in love? i guess just like marriage, in the end everyone is just looking for stability, security, someone to fall on and if you're lucky, a soulmate. its all just for future plans of a not lonely, and a secure life.its stupid, issint it? u see that i've just lost my utopic belief of everlasting love. that day at starbucks, we were just saying that max is still a kid, cos of the same utopic belief of true love that lasts forever which i firmly held on to in the past. is he really naive or is there really such true love in this world? i used to believe my mr. right is out there waiting, but now it seems like my Mr right wont be that right for me no matter how. damn this love thing la.
today we had staff meeting. zathun's right. this is not about competition, this is about standard. after much pondering, yea. its about what we can give to the customers, and the love for the job which i always held firmly to. i just dint realise that the motto for our FOH staff is "experiencing Fish and Co." i guess that truly means anjoying and delivering your best to the guests, and not practising a skill. because all our staff on the floor are strong, sometimes its natural that we forgo the philosophy of service and succumb to human nature. but seriously, i find it hard to force a smile especially towards haughty customers. damn those people who treat us like maids. damn it, we are doing you a favour by taking the order for you and smiling at you, i can afford to seat where u are now and probably spend twice as much as you without batting an eyelash. currently, i just happen to be doing my job of taking your order. damn it, you arent much better off than me you know. hahahahahaahahhhahahaha. thats whats wiring through a heated up brain, covered with the sweetest honey coated smile on the whole of earth. they are worse off than humans who just have to make up their minds when the server is there. damn it la, make up your mind then summon us can anot. ahhh but i realise i do that too. hahaha. u know its just, when the server is about to take your order, suddenly new options just have to come flooding and tempting you. bleagh. jana shut up.
and so,i decided to make friendster on 9th sept, 2007. erm to be honest, i wanna keep in contact with the burmese people after they leave. :D
ahh talking about dates, we have a promise, patricia. we will be god parents of each others children 10 years later. 照片在，人在。照片亡，人亡。 lol!!! i think i am going nuts.
ahh movena church. got lots to say but im tired from typing. and lone too. okay thats reminders for my post tmr. bye, jana.
