im balding, im gonna become even uglier and my mum's not making me feel any better at all. just shut the hell up. sorry, god.
passed by ij today and i decided to drop by the chapel. started having one of the rare quiet time with god. i wish i could have that joy of salvation all over again. i still rmb the day when an hour passed like five minutes while i shut my eyes and cried my heart out in novena church, the time when i really felt him telling me to go for novena choir. i know my life's peaceful, i have christ with me, but theres just this heavy stone weighing my heart down, i dont know how to get it off. i prayed for it to go off but it didnt, maybe cos i dint quieten myself down and open my heart to him. maybe i was just busy ranting on and on without silencing and humbling myself? city harvest brought me closer to christ again, but i still have no confidence in myself to commit prob cos i've never learnt it in my whole 17 years of life.
aiya i dunno la, so confusing, ARGH. i just wanna sleep 48 hours straight. but who can i blame for lack of sleep? me, myself and i.
someone shut me up in a room with all kinds of musical intruments then put in a robot to teach me.
or someone bring me to tibet or mongolia and let us both ride our horses through huge green pastures. we'll savour the fresh air and the scents of dew, we'll drink from cool streams meandering through hills, we could smile at the strips of clouds floating by, at the locals galloping past with peaceful smiles of greetings,dance together by the bon-fire when the stars start to arise and shine over the world. i could live like that forever, start a family with kids who will sing and dance and kiss all weariness away, to bring our tribe such bliss and thankfulness for the world God has given us. here truly, i will smile with peace.
im pretty sure i wont ask for more than that. except maybe more sunblock la.
sigh.
