i went for dialect ministry service today and i cried.
amongst the crowd of a few hundred, maybe 400 elderlies, i was the only youth there and seated right at the back row. however when i saw the response they gave and the amount they worshipped, my jaws dropped. i never could imagine any elderly person raising up his hand and praising God, i never imagined any old man would shout "Amen" so faithfully. yet today, God showed me what He meant when he says the kingdom of heaven is near, and that every single one of us, regardless of race, religion and age is his precious child.
i dont know if tears fell because i heard him saying "thats your ministry, go." or if i was plain touched by the scene. hundreds of seemingly similar elderlies, those that u can see anywhere and anytime in marketplaces and those that u can see in hospital beds, raising up their hands and singing
"耶稣我的主，感谢你无条件的爱 ”
you know how that felt?
it felt like my own household and even my best frens have been saved, it surpasses even the emotion when i was saved. in a way, this was the best testimony of christ the living god, and the perfect Father i have ever witnessed. when i looked at the screen, i was so touched and so ministered over when old men and women on wheelchairs shut their eyes in persistent faith and clapped their hands in joy. i remember so clearly how when the pastor said in dialect:
"no matter how bad your singing may sound, no matter how off-beat you clap, to our God, it is perfect"
the whole multitude of elderlies responded without hesitation, "amen!"
when i was about to leave, this man, 58 years old started chatting with me. and so next week, i'll meet him there because he wants me to have a hokkien praise and worship CD. and he was so adamant on emphasizing time and time again : "im LENDING you not GIVING". i felt like laughing, so cute la.
while i sat there and listened to the service, in cantonese and then translated to hokkien, i had dreams of revival for the church. i had dreams of filling the 2000 seater auditorium with old and joyful elderlies worshipping and praising God even in tongues. i really had dreams of a breakthrough and dreams of revival that city harvest will be a church not just for youths and the market place, but for everyone in the city. however the moment i visualized and saw in my mind's eye what God wanted me to see, suddenly inconfidence just grabbed me. i suddenly felt like i was literally just visualizing and this was impossible. i actually felt a sense of fatigue and i just had this thought :"even if its possible, it'll be so tiring." and then, the strong passion and the fire that burned with my tears somehow just dissipated and i was back to square one : "is this my calling?"
maybe i should have made a choice right there and then to trust God that this was where he wanted to use me, instead of allowing thougths from the devil to come. i'll pray about it.
while on the way home, i had a revelation.
"God so loved the WORLD, he gave his one and only son" -john 3-16.
i think we have forgotten that the world is not just broken pieces of humans who backstab and humans who commit adultery and crimes and hate christ, but the world also consists of the beginnings and the ends of God's creation. babies of even just a day old, thats part of the world. elderlies a minute away from death, thats the world. i had this thought, that perhaps the lowliest of the lowly, the neediest of the needy, the poorerst of the poor are the elderlies of the world. babies have their mothers, but these people dont. babies have their families, but these people have watched their families die one by one. babies hold the hope and excitement of dreams and visions, but these people dont. adults have their spouses and frens, but these people have lost all the love they ever felt for anyone. well thats life and thats the world. the world is without love. and who of all these are the most deprived? probably the oldest people.
as humans grow, innocence fades and pride and fear takes over.at 80 years old, i dont think u will be willing to open your heart to trust anymore. at 80 years old, what dreams and visions can u have? of living one extra hour? at 80 years old, you'll probably pray more for your limbs to be strong and your heart to beat normally than pray to know God more. ironically, the lowliest of the lowly and neediest of the needy are the ones most negleted.
guess what, we are having an aging population. in 30 years time, the marketplace wont be dominated by youths anymore, the CITY doesnt refer to groundbreaking youths anymore. our harvest then, wouldnt be the young vibrant marketplace anymore. in 50 years time, our city and our harvest, will be the elderlies themselves. it'll be too late to start reaching out then, issint it?
reaching out is never easy. to change someone else, you yourself must first change, and you yourself must first be reached out to. the mark of faith is when u can say with all your heart and all your soul "jesus died on the cross for my sins" and actually believing it. and believing it is when u make a choice to live for it, because when u believe he died for you, you will want to live for him.
oh yes, the guy who brought me to church 2 years ago, his name is wenkai, i just found out that, darryl and the karate people who are part of the cell group now, is connected to him. and the "small kevin" that i've been yearning to meet, is actually someone i already know 2 years ago. and wenkai also knows my classmate.maybe it seems normal, like anything u can find on frenster, but i know it's in His will. wenkai too, lol. okay, i will change, and then we will reach out!
2008 is gonna be a year of change. i will "RE- PENT", all over again i will pent up back to the highest level of thinking, which is God's thoughts. i gotta go back there cos "repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near". we gotta change! i gotta change!
no lateness, no cab, no pride, no fear, NO LAZINESS!
peace
