waslooking through facebook, looking through cheryl bok's facebook adn all. hmm. she has a great life, serving God, woman of God, well loved and resepcted by all, huge grp of friends, a great spiritual family, pretty, nice hair nice figure. and yup, i guess im just feeling.. i dunno. sadness. becos of? maybe she is what and who i want to be. yujie ever said i remind him of cheryl too.
was looking yujie's FB first actually. seeing all the numerous wall posts which 99.9% is about Christ, it just made me feel indignant. he wasnt like that the period of time i knew him, "why's he pretending to be this now, to give lina security?" but then, that was more than a year ago. they've moved on in God, moved on with their spiritual lives, destinies, studies, career, relationship, family. its time for me too alr u know.
in their minds, do they think im a failure, or me not going to church is prob my retribution for breaking them up? i dunno. i guess a part of me always believed it could be 90% my fsult, or maybe the feeling just gets stronger everyday that i forget how much of a jerk he was.
Moving oneverything has been the same
the room
the pictures
all the things we used to do
its still here
but you've gone
moved ahead in your destiny
a part of me is angry
yet im just watching
i know many would think i deserve this
maybe i do
but im just watching
not becos i hate you
but becos i dont what to do
where do i go from here?
whats there left for me?
if your love is everlasting,
how do i come back to you?im writing this in the offic enow and tearing. its my last day here, it was a fulfilling time, really.
im moving on, to where i wanna go, i wanna work in AWWA. i dont care if i have friends or im part of a spiritual family. i just wanna cherish the people i have left now by my side.
