SOT is coming. in.. 8 hours.
Financially im introuble.
Emotionally im upside down
Spiritually im a diassapointment.
Its not just one thing, its everything. and including the things of others.
Im ok if Nat hates me, in actual fact i dont really give a shit. Its just funny cos i only saw all her fb wallposts now. im glad i havent seen her Tumblr. but also not like i care that much.
I dont wanna like anyone who doesnt like me. i hate the feeling when my heart feels sliced and my stomach turns upside down. when the pain doesnt come yet and its just that sour feeling of a hole in the heart. but it still beats being in pain.
I need money. i need 150 by morning. and i need 2000 for sot plus books.
i need something new. a fresh start thats without sorrows.
i can understand why Rhonda wouldnt trust me. i can understand why i have to share my members. other than the fact that they arent mine, they need godly shephards.
ive gone too far to turn back now. ive just got to make the next six months passable. acceptable.
for now. let me meditate on Jehovah Jireh. Jehovah Shalom. Jehovah Tsedkenu. Yahweh.
Labels: when the bridges are burnt
